Charlie’s Music Therapy.
I’m revealing here my “musical therapy” that was extremely helpful in the first weeks after I began mourning. It helped me to express my grief at anger at death, Satan, and all his minions. When I woke up after midnight, I’d often feel the weight of death by suicide on my emotions. I’d pick up my iPhone, put in my earbuds, and play a series of songs and weep while they play. This usually went on for 30 to 45 minutes. Terry was usually sleeping because it was often at 1 AM or 4 AM. As I moved from song to song, I wept for various aspects of the situation. As I list the pieces below, I’m including the topic of my weeping After I finished listening, I would go back to sleep with the “peace that passes understanding.”
I know it sounds strange, but I start with “Master of the House” from “Les Misérables.” WHY? Because I want to remember who I am. I am NOT MASTER OF THE HOUSE, but I thought I was when I was an atheist This video uses the LORD’s name in vain and in some sense glorifies sin so if you are sensitive to my declaration as a willful sinner skip this video.
The Apostle Paul summarizes our history of sin and redemption in 1 Corinthians 6:9-11. I wasn’t all those sinners listed, but I was quite a few of them. “Or do you not know that the unrighteous will not inherit the kingdom of God? Do not be deceived: neither the sexually immoral, nor idolaters, nor adulterers, nor men who practice homosexuality, nor thieves, nor the greedy, nor drunkards, nor revilers, nor swindlers will inherit the kingdom of God. And such were some of you. But you were washed, you were sanctified, you were justified in the name of the Lord Jesus Christ and by the Spirit of our God. If you want to remember “such were some of you,” listen to Master of the House”.
Understanding who we are in relation to God is essential to a right understanding of who He is. In all three Synoptic Gospels Jesus said, “I came not to call the righteous, but sinners to repentance.” Matthew 9:13, Mark 2:17, Luke 5:32. We must recognize we are lost, sinners. Three of the most important leaders in the Bible, Moses, King David, and The Apostle Paul were ALL murderers of the worse sort, killing by intent. I call this the “calling of the 1st degree.” In our justice system, this is called murder in the first degree, and it carries the strongest punishment our culture allows the death penalty in many states.
First: Master of the House by Alun & Jenny. 5:44
Weep for: SORROW, our sin, and my years lost as an atheist
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VALfpc-dJ7s
Second: “You Raise Me Up” BYU Vocal Point. 4:17
WEEP for: SORROW, sudden, unexpected death
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rcLl0A-lXIc
When I am down and, oh my soul, so weary
When troubles come and my heart burdened be.
Then, I am still and wait here in the silence
Until You come and sit awhile with me.
Third: “I Know Who Holds Tomorrow.” 4:21
Weep for: SORROW, thoughts of and death by suicide
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=C7BtGs1w6hA
Many things about tomorrow
I don’t seem to under understand
But I, I know, I know, I know who holds tomorrow
And I know who holds, who holds my hand
Note from the Petersens: Upon losing his wife at a young age, Ira Stanphill wrote “I Know Who Holds Tomorrow” expressing a prayer of surrender to his Savior under circumstances he didn’t understand. God doesn’t promise that walking with him will be easy, but what he does promise is that every day of our lives is in his hands, and we can rest in the hope of his Son, Jesus Christ, who paid the punishment for our sins so that we can have hope and eternity with him!
Fourth: “It Is Finished” Gaither Vocal Band. 6:06
Weep for: SORROW, the lost souls, outside Christ.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ybU_ZK0rPeo
Now in my heart, the battle was still raging
Not all prisoners of war had come home
These were battlefields of my own making
I didn’t know that the war had been won
O’ but then I heard that the king of the ages
He had fought all my battles just for me
And victory, victory was mine for the claiming*
And now praise his name, I’m free…
It is finished and Jesus is LORD!
* I know “claiming” is not a right word, but that’s the lyrics
Fifth: “Amazing Grace, My Chains are Gone.” 4:40
Weep for: JOY, salvation through Jesus’ death /resurrection.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Obp-9BEZe1c&list=RDObp-9BEZe1c&start_radio=1&rv=Obp-9BEZe1c&t=0
My chains are gone. I’ve been set free
My God, my Savior has ransomed me
And like a flood His mercy reigns
Unending love, amazing grace
Sixth: “Because He Lives” Celtic Worship. 5:19
Weep for: JOY, for God’s promise of death’s death!
e.g., Revelation 21-22, wipe away every tear.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RFIr8-gH55E
And then one day, I’ll cross that river
And fight life’s final war with pain
And then, as death gives way to victory
I’ll see the lights of glory and I’ll know he lives
Because I know, I know he holds the future
Life is worth the living just because he lives.
Seventh: The Holy City, Jerusalem. 5:14
Weep for: JOY, your redemption draweth nigh!
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7BM9E1hEVrg
And once again the scene was changed,
New earth there seemed to be, I saw the Holy City
Beside the tideless sea, No need of moon or stars by night…
Or sun to shine by day, it was the new Jerusalem
That would not pass away, Jerusalem! Jerusalem
Sing for the night is o’er, Hosanna in the highest
Hosanna for evermore
NOW: Go to sleep with the peace that passes understanding.
